Friday, July 30, 2010

I've never been to Butner


Raleigh Wide Open is this weekend, which is cool because it involves free things like music and shopportunities and people-gawking galore, but also because the Barenaked Ladies are going to be playing! Is that sweet or what? Who doesn't like them? Anyone? Because seriously, Canadian rockers are almost always awesome. What is it aboot that, anyways, eh? Must be the Tim Horton's and poutine diet, which can make even the most dour character soften up to the point of amicability.

Are there any mean Canadians? Anywhere? I've never met one. I'm sure there must be Canadian criminals, but I'll just bet they're immigrants or something, or possibly French Canadians, as they have the tendency to do that werid 'hoh hoh hoh' laugh and glance sidelong at things, which is pretty shifty behavior if you ask me. But the regular Mountie-type Canadian seems cheery and content, hardly ripe for bank robbery or shoplifting. I could be wrong about this, of course, but evidence collected through personal experience = Canadians are happy folks with really cute accents.

I just hope that TBNL are prepared for the heat. It's going to be in the mid 90's again, and possibly rainy or at the least oppressively humid. Not sure if the boys from the North are able to adjust to those conditions. Maybe I should volunteer to apply cool towels to their sweaty foreheads during breaks, or fetch them cold beverages, or offer to mist them down with spring water while they're playing one of their many hits. Oh, I could do some misting, all right. All's I'd have to do is fight through about a thousand Hooters chicks and their gym-rat boyfriends to get backstage, then strong-arm the green room guard with some exotic cheeses and a bottle of good wine, THEN steal his ID badge, and then I'd have free access to the boys and their Canadianness. To quote the Kool-Aide guy: Oh Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Clearly, I have a rich inner life. In truth it'd be a small miracle if we even got our butts downtown to go to the afternoon part of Raleigh Wide Open, much less stay out amongst the masses to see TBNL. Because, despite the huge draw they are, my terminal case of lazy is probably stronger than the desire to gawk.

Further reports as events warrant.

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So, at the middle school 'fetch your schedule' event last night, a weird thing happened. Well, 2 weird things.

1) The 8th-grade teachers almost didn't recognize Thing 1, who had been in their classrooms just a year earlier. Apparently the interval between the end of 8th grade and the almost-beginning of 10th has seen some dramatic changes in the boy. According to the marks on the door frame, he's grown 3 inches, so that's something. His voice has also changed, so that's something 2. He wears glasses now, which is a something 3, and I do think I detect a hint of peach fuzz on the upper lip, which would be thing 4. But something else has changed; I think it's called 'confidence.' He's not a little kid anymore; he has bearing and style. To think that such a thing could cause people who spent every day with him for an entire school year to not recognize him though is kind of odd. To see them obviously impressed with who he is becoming is most gratifying indeed.

2) While in the gym picking up new gym shorts and an agenda for Thing 2, one of the Dads there gave me and the kids a weird look, like he was thrilled to see us. It was more a 'hey look, CLOWNS!' thing instead of a 'hey, nice to see you!' thing, so it made me a tad nervous that perhaps something was coming out my nose or one of the kids had a 'kick me' sticker attached to them, but no. Eventually he came right up to us and asked the Things 'so, what grades are you guys in?' with a look of amazement on his smiley face. Turns out dude was awestruck by the Things' height, and murmured something about 'oh, so still growing!' when they responded to his first question. Now, please understand - I get it that my kids are tall. They're both around 6'1", and at 13 and 14 that means they're clearly not yet done growing, but dang. If you're going to comment on their size so brashly, then at least offer them a free ticket to basketball camp or something. Just marveling at their height makes us all out to be sort of freakshowy, and that's not really a good thing.

So, I'm pretty much waiting for the offers of football or basketball camps to come rolling in any day now. Better brush up on my negotiating skills, just in case there's a bidding war for Thing 2's superhumanness.

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And that's all I have for today. Oh, except my Mom allowed yesterday during a phone conversation as how she's all caught up on my blog, which is nice, and she didn't mention anything about cussing or TMI, so thanks for reading, Mom! I love you!

Y'all have a good one. Tiff out.

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