Tuesday, February 16, 2010

shank o' life, plus a permission slip

On Sunday there were 7 boxes of cereal in the pantry and a full gallon of milk. This morning there are 3 boxes of cereal in the pantry and just enough milk to faintly lighten a cup of coffee. Such is life with 2 young men in the house.

Cereal is a huge favorite all-occasion food at the Tiny House, particularly among the under-21 set. Thing 1, I think, would eat nothing BUT cereal if left to his own devices, and can plow through 3 or more bowlsful at a sitting if allowed. I suspect that this is one of the main reasons why he’s usually so ready to wake up in the morning and fend for his own breakfast – he knows that I’d probably put the kibosh on multiple bowls if I was awake to see the feeding frenzy. Thing 2 also can chow down on the Cap’n Crunch (or Frosted mini-wheats, or whatever is available), but he’s no match for his big brother.

This conspicuous consumption shouldn’t really come as a surprise, being that both boys are growing like weeds on steroids. This eating thing is necessary to power the many inches of growth they’ve both experienced over the last year; the expansion of shoe size from 11 to 14, the addition of things like ‘leg hair’ and ‘deeper voice’ require sustenance!

It’s expensive, is what it is. Many years ago I had a friend with a 14-year-old son who went from 5’9” to 6’5” in the space of a year, and with that phenomenal growth came an appetite that almost ate the family out of house and home. Their grocery bills were $250 a WEEK, most due to his gigantic appetite. He’d eat 3 pieces of chicken, 2 cups of cooked rice, and a huge salad for breakfast (I know!), and 2 hours later was rooting around for something to eat because he was ‘famished.’ Back then I was amused, but now I am afraid. There are many many more years of this to come, as once they boys are grown to full height they will, naturally, start putting on muscle to get to their eventual adult size. Heaven help us all, because at not-quite-13 Thing 2 is already 6’2” and over 200 pounds, a true thing of beauty of the ‘family size’ variety. Thing 1 is about 6’1” and weighs…..140 pounds. Yes, they’re from the same 2 parents; it’s just that Thing 1 is built like his father (think ‘beanpole’) and Thing 2 has the sad duty of making do after inheriting my far studier frame. On the plus side, when the bomb drops, that kid will join me pulling a plow somewhere, I just know it.

All fueled in large part by cereal. Many many boxes of cereal.


Already it’s Fat Tuesday. Tonight in New Orleans there will be booby flashing, bead tossing ,and general mayhem, all in the name of Christianity.

Wait, what?

Mmhmm! The following from the history channel:

Also known as "fat Tuesday," this pre-Lenten festival is celebrated in Roman Catholic countries and communities. In a strict sense, Mardi Gras, or Shrove Tuesday, is celebrated by the French as the last of the three days of Shrovetide and is a time of preparation immediately before Ash Wednesday and the start of the fast of Lent. Mardi Gras is thus the last opportunity for merrymaking and indulgence in food and drink.

The nice thing is, that even if you’re NOT preparing for a season of self-denial like a fair number of churchy folk, you can still get your drink on tonight and party like a renaissance man! Woohoo! Mead and meat all around, let’s work on a specTACular headache as a way to start Lent! Because honestly, who doesn’t want a big ol’ hangover on the first day of the season of penance to remind them of what they ought to be doing for the next 40 days (or 44, or 46, or even 55, if you’re really Orthodox about it).

So go on, work it until you walk like Keith Richards and talk like Ozzy, for tomorrow you will be clutching a banging head and a roiling stomach, all in the name of observance of an ancient rite of Spring. Prosit!


Y’all have a fine Shrove Tuesday. EAT THEM PANCAKES! And have a lovely afternoon.

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