Friday, August 14, 2009

The worst mom in the world

That’s right. I am possibly the worst mom in the world. Do you know why?

I made the Things eat cooked carrots last night!

Surprisingly, there were no tears shed (they’re probably too big for that anyhow(THANK GOD!)), but there sure were a whole buncha groans and slope-shouldered sighs happening.


What's more, I also made peas. I KNOW, the evil is ha-yoodje (say it out loud, my precious darlings) sometimes! Miracle alert: they ate those too. I didn’t even have to loom over them while languidly smacking a ruler against my palm either, which is a nice change.

Who wants to bet that they’re happy tonight is pizza night?


Not-a-newsflash time: the 8-hour workday is a joke.

If I ‘work’ for even 5 of the hours I’m at work, it’d be like a minor miracle. Further, if I was doing PRODUCTIVE work, instead of the e-mails and ‘please can you’s’ and such that take up so much of my time, who knows how much I could get done? Instead I wind up spending half those 5 hours chasing around for stuff that has a small percentage of impact on any finished product, but does NEED to get done because nobody else is in a position to do it. It’s like laundry….you do it, and keep ON doing it, with almost nothing to show for it except lint and a springtime fresh smell in the air.

No, not the work, the laundry. The laundry was serving as an analogy! Stick with me!

Hey, that's not a bad idea though. It would be cool if doing work created a springtime fresh smell. How much more wonderfully could a really dedicated employee demonstrate their hard work than by generating an atmosphere that reminds cube-neighbors of a post-April shower clean world ? BONUS, it’d be a cinch to figure out who was working hardest, because they’d be the best-smelling!

Clearly, this is a genius idea. Someone get on that. Genetic engineers are welcome to a co-development idea as long as I get a cut of the profit that is sure to come once all the right introns and exons are generated and inserted.

But back to my point: 8 hours of consistently productive work a DAY is not actually happening. EVER.

All y’all with the dreaded FTJ (full-time-job) out there - am I a total slacker or is it common for folks to only work a portion of their allotted RDA of hours?


I’m asking a lot of questions today. Does that bother anyone?


Also, sometimes people amaze me. Sometimes with their generosity, sometimes with their mean-spiritedness.

I prefer the former, as you’d expect. I've recently hear about some really shitty things people are doing out of anger or spite, and it's getting me angry at the ignorami who perpetrate the stupidity.

QotD then: What the best thing anyone’s ever done for or to you, or that you’ve heard about? I’m talking about stuff that’s so over-the-top awesome that it plays Boggle with your Brain-pan.

Do tell us about it, won’t you? And have a lovely day.

Tiff out.

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