Thursday, July 30, 2009

Phantom ass syndrome as a pervasive force against decorum.

Y’all who read the WVSR will no doubt be familiar with the term “Phantom Ass Syndrome,” which is that numbing of the hindquarters brought on by too much sitting.

I has it.

What's more, PAS, in combination with a twingey little pain from the stitches, is making my ability to sit (a key part of my job!) difficult, and thus I find myself a-shifting around like I have crotch cooties. Not that I have ever HAD crotch cooties, mind you, but I read, and have a vivid imagination.

Cross leg, uncross leg, cross other leg, uncross, shift onto one haunch, then the other, lean forward, then SLUMP. Rinse, repeat. It’s like I’m 6 years old again and it’s a May afternoon and I’m still in school when there are FLOWERS and SUNSHINE and OMG why can’t we just get out of school already there must be all kind of crayfish up at the creek and I need to ride my bike!

It’s a darned good thing I have a cube way the heck in the back 40 of the cube farm. Otherwise, someone might delicately suggest a trip to the local delousing facility, or maybe some Ritalin. Neither of which is good for the whole ‘professional’ persona I got going on.

A better darned good thing is that I’m working at home today. There’s nobody to see me twitch.


A new era is dawning at the Tiny House: the Time of Bus Riding.

Thing 2 is already back in school, the poor dear, and as a test of parental derring-do we’ve agreed to let him ride the bus home instead of going to the Y after school. THing 1 has aged out of any after-school stuff, so was going to be on his own anyhow. This step is saving me more than 300 bucks a month (150 or so per kid), and so is a welcome one at the same time it's a little nerve-wracking.

They will be Home. Alone. And responsible for getting themselves there. Scary!!!

Fortunately, with a bunch of neighbors who are home almost all the time (retirement and fibromyalgia tend to keep some people close to their couches), and who will be introduced to said young men this weekend. The Things will know that eyes are watching out for them, even when they believe they have the run of the place.



Word to those who might be thinking of throwing out a perfectly good area rug because their cat has decided it’s his personal urinal:

Copious amounts of Nature’s Miracle (the kind made just for cat' issues'), followed by about a week outside through thunderstorms and baking sun, will eradicate the smell.

That’s 700 bucks worth of rug saved. Sweet, eh?

Tiff out.

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