Monday, March 23, 2009

Mmmmm, brains

So, I'm all on Facebook, and, like, took this quiz? And it was supposed to tell me when I'm going to die? And so I did it? And it told me this?

Tiff took the "when will you die??" quiz and the result is: result is 31st october , 2008.

Dudes? THAT WAS LAST YEAR! I am TOTALLY DEAD!! Do you know what this means?

I'm a freaking ZOMBIE, man! ROCK!

What sucks is that I bit it on the night of Tiffowe'en and nobody told me, and I've wasted all this time doing ordinary people stuff when I could have been lurching around the neighborhood moaning for brains!

Man, that sucks. I'm totally not even WANTING brains anymore, which is dope, 'cuz it would be awesome to rip the heads off of a bunch of people around here and start munching on their corpus callosums (learned that in AP biology) or their medulla oblongatas (also AP bio, which my friend Mandy had to take twice (once in summer school) because she didn't turn in her ocular system project on account of her mom had a baby and Mandy had to take care of her little brother for 8 weeks while her mom did NOTHING but feed the new baby and cry. Hey Mandy's Mom? Grow up! Mandy had to go to SUMMER SCHOOL because of you, which is, like, totally unfair to Mandy because she had a sweet job as a booth girl set up at the town pool, and could have hung out with the lifeguards all summer, but no, she had to re-take stupid AP Bio because YOU decided to reproduce then get all weepy about it!). Wouldn't it be trippin' to snack on someone's pituitary? Nom Nom, protohormones!

Totally missed my chance though. I guess if you die and don't know it, then you can't turn into a zombie and scare the pants off losers like Shelby Knackwise, that zitty chick in AP Bio who always got like 100 perCENT on her stuff, or Janque Hollister who is so ugly but who is dating Josh Blivens, my crush. I could totally go for killing them dead with fright and then cracking some skullage.

Man. Could I ever.

But NnnOOOOO, I can't because aparently if you miss your chance at being dead? You totally cannot go back and ask for a do-over. Sucks. Totally.


Anyhow, I think I'd rather be vampire than a zombie anyday if given my choice of what variety of 'undead' I could be. Vampires are cool, man. Capes and fangs and sweepyness and turning into mist or bats or whatever, and the BITING of people to suck their BLOOD and the IMMORTALITY thing? Schweeeet. I could go without sunlight too; as an Irish-German girl I have plenty of practice.

Plus which? I already HAVE a widow's peak. Watch out! Vlad Tiffula is on the MOVE.

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