Wednesday, March 25, 2009

980, get yer peanuts

Dudes, how's it going? Have you been enjoying your hump day? I have been enjoying mine, very much. Indeed, from the moment I turned off the snooze alarm at 6:30 in the freaking morning until right now, almost 12 hours later, this day has been very nearly nothing but Xtreme enjoyment!

The very best hour of the day so far has been split between the 45 minutes of sleep I had AFTER the alarm was turned off, and the 15 minutes spent on arriving home eating things out of plasticware dishes straight from the refrigerator because I had a BURNING hunger that could not wait until some manner of fresh food could be slaughtered and charred to a crispity crunch. Oh no, no charring required or desired!

Did you ever do that? Come home from work, fling your shit onto whatever horizontal surface is closest, open the fridge door, and just start EATING? It's a pretty sure bet my fork was glowing orange, the wind was whistling through its tines and I almost burned myself licking the last bite of garlic chicken offa it. Holy cow.

I was a good Shrinking Piggie though. The feeding frenzy only lasted for 8 bites of whatever I could find to jam in my maw before I forcefully threw down the fork (which by this time was burning my fingers anyhow) and stepped away from the cabinet of chilly nummies. It hurt me to do so, becasue there are some fairly awesome leftovers in there in their pretty little single-serving size tubs, just right for a nice lunch or maybe half a ravenous after-work snack.

Speaking of which, does Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing make just about everything you put it on taste better? I submit that it does, especially the rice mix that was left over from making stuffed peppers this weekend. Mmmm, stuffed peppers. Wish I had one right now.

This hunger is crazy, man. Here's the dealio-ee-oh: I'm eating less during the day, being as how my ass doesn't really budge much from the ol' office chair for several hours and so caloric intake isn't all the necessary, and yet, even though I'm not metabolizing much more than a gnatsworth of energy while at work, my stomach seems to think that SOME amount of food in it is a must, and so growls and groans at me for MORE, MORE! until I find myself snorkeling down chow from a plastic tub with a utensil that's glowing from the whipping friction set up in the tub-to-mouth maneuver.

But...8 bites. Just 8. That's gotta count for SOMETHING, right?


Yeah. I KNOW.

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