Things come and go. Circle of life and all that. Recently, the end of my marriage was achieved. It’s not a thing to hoot and holler about, not really, because even with what were some truly awful times, there were good ones too. Those good times kept that marriage together perhaps for far longer than it ought to have existed, but we humans do cling to hope and fond memories more readily than admitting defeat, don’t we?
So, 19 years after being married, we are no longer. The end of a long chapter in my life, but not the end of the story. Fortunately, the ex and I have forged a reasonable relationship, partly out of necessity, and (I hope) partly out of decency. There was enough evil between us before our split to last a lifetime, so there is no real reason to perpetuate those negataive feelings. I am not strong enough to have survived a fractious divorce. I’ve seen them; we all have, those couples who bankrupt themselves in the legal system trying to get their hands on small goods, on ‘things’ they deem important enough to spend their childrens’ college funds on, on items they have decided they must have, forgetting that most everything they possess can be purchased at Target for a nominal sum. That’s just bitterness and petty grubbing, heaping anger on top of the deep sadness that comes with the dissolution of any marriage. Throwing rage onto broken promises and grief cannot be the wisest course of action, though some rage is unavoidable.
Anyhow. It’s officially over. The agreement we reached 20 months ago (when I moved out) held up through lawyers and court, the papers were stamped and approved, and with the delivery of one small envelope, we were the recipients of the big D.
It’s said that change is good. This change has been one of the most difficult to make, with booby traps to avoid, pitfalls to step over, inroads to make, a different relationship to establish with the person to whom I was once married, but in the end it was a change that was totally necessary. Sometimes you just have to know when to quit, you know?