Tuesday, June 03, 2008

771 onna bun

It's possible to listen to a telecon and not hear what's being said. AAMOF, I'm doing it right now. Face time is ever so important in the hurly-burly corporate world. Say your name at logon, then go read your e-mail, play a game, type a blog post, and basically get paid to goof off.

Sweet.

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So. In a couple of weeks I'm due to give a presentation at a national meeting of thousands of people who are involved in my personal area of employ (the pharmaceutical biz, if you're playing along at home).

The presentation is due tomorrow.

FACT THAT SHOULD SURPRISE NOBODY: I have not yet started it.

How long do you think it will take to rett up a 20-minute presentation on a topic with which one is only marginally familiar? I'm budgeting about 2 hours. We'll see. 20-some slides, not a few of which will be filled with some of the most dry topical information known to all mankind (and perhaps a few alien species who might be listening in), with perhaps some sort of cool slide transitions and zooming bullets to keep interest...and we're done. The content is pretty much copy and paste, but because I'm an inveterate underestimator of time required to produce a final product, I can envision me slaving away in the wee hours to tweak and massage a presentation that is one of hundreds to be given at the meeting, sweating over the small details, memorizing every nuance of guidance from several different geographic areas.

Part of my charm y'all - the ability develop OCD at the drop of a hat.

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Speaking of hats:

Why don't people wear hats anymore? When did folks, by and large, STOP wearing hats?

Where did all the milliners go? What are they doing now? Who's looking after the poor out-of-work cranial sartorial specialists?

How many questions can I ask about hat-wearing?

I would like hat-wearing to make a comeback. Hats could do so much for a girl like me who has hair that does what it will, often doing a fair imitation of 'straw in a windstorm.' I look good in hats too; I suspect it has something to do with that hat covering one or more of the acres of fivehead I've got going on, thereby focusing more attention to the remaining half of my face...

(Yes, I know that bangs could do the same thing, but I'm not a fan of bangs, being as how they require tending to. I'm not a huge fan of the tending-to, if you hadn't guessed by now.)

A nice little hat perched on top of my gigantic cranium might indeed feminize my head. Something with a jaunty feather, or sweet little daisies, or sequins! SEQUINS!!! YES! A nice pink straw hat with sequins....maybe STREAMERS of sequins that cascade down the back like a sparkly ponytail. A princess hat, shiny and distracting! Nobody would notice my split ends! I could french twist my hair and tuck it up under the princess hat (which of course would also have to come in black to match most of my wardrobe), glamming up my style with the addition of this miraculous chapeau.

(<----See? Jaunty! Adorable! )

But then, I'd have to uptick my wardrobe to match the sparkly twinkly princess hat of miracles. Maybe buy shoes with a heel. Skirts....tailored trousers....actual BLOUSES, not just fancy tee-shirts. Bedjackets and feathered mules. Lipstick and dramatic eyeliner.

Maintenance.

Crap.

This is getting expensive.

Baseball cap it is then. They go with everything, right?

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Whelp - This telecon is wrapping up, and I'm due to start workly work at any moment. All y'all have a great day. "Tues it" like you MEAN it, yo!

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