Friday, December 07, 2007

If I ever lose my way

Doods! How is it possible that after one week at a new job I have three projects to work on, and two of them are due next week? Yeesh. You’d think a new person would know to just take a few days to review the SOPs, hang out and get familiar with the company, become conversant with the rules, and suchlike, bo noOOOoo, THIS new person just went right ahead and got all helpy and stuff.

I think it was the 6-page list of current projects that this group has going on that did it to me.

"This group" meaning the TWO of us. My new boss has been slaving away on this entire list all by himself for the last year, and boy HOWDY but I got the guilts real BAD after seeing that. So, instead of doing all the requisite training I’m supposed to be doing (no official time set aside for that, my dears, oh NOES), I put on my corporate Tiff hat and dug right in.

Now I need to remember how to juggle. I think it’s called “prioritizing” in the business world, but juggling works for me too.

Oh! Hey!!

In case you haven’t seen the headlines at Yahoo today, here are a few that I thought worthy of further explanation:

Trumpet player killed in southern Mexico

Someone finally had enough of the out-of-tune blaring of Salazar “Salutay” O’Rodriguez and put the town of Nescobal out of their collective misery. “We just couldn’t stand it anymore” said a townsperson who refused to be named “He was so very bad that even that biggest guitar in the mariachi band couldn’t drown him out.” O’Rodriguez was found Tuesday morning with his beloved trumpet stuck where you’d least expect a trumpet to be. Foul play is not only suspected, it’s almost a certainty, but here in the now-peaceful town you won’t find anyone investigating the COD.

Rice seeks Russian backing on Iran

“After we pound Iran flat like the pasty veal cutlet it is, we plan to apply a nice thin layer of the finest caviar to it and eat it WHOLE” the Cabinet member was heard saying at a White House party Friday night. Alcohol may have been involved.

Scientists cure mice with sickle cell

Just think of it folks! One single cell can cure a mouse of whatever ails it, imagine what a few thousand can do for YOU! Come on down to Rodney’s house of Sickle Cells and order YOURS today for a lifetime of good health!

WWF says warming puts Amazon at risk

The World Wrestling Federation today announced that “The Amazon” will not be participating in this week’s “RAW IS WAR” match because of previously undiagnosed perimenopausal symptoms including hot flashes, which could increase the chances of her breaking down in tears, or ripping the head off an opponent, particularly if he’s male and resembles her ex-husband “The Shaft.” The WWF apologizes for this late withdrawal.

Supreme Court allows women to serve drinks in Delhi

But they can’t serve drinks on the patio.

(wocka wocka!)


Enjoy your weekends, folks. I’m going to be hanging holiday lights and feschtooning my house with lovely lovely Christmas decorations. Oh yes, the mojo is here, and it’s calling out for a Christmas tree.

Bring it on.

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