Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Again with the crazy-making!


It’s raining again. Yay!!!

See? SEE?



Work today is very very quiet. Why, you could hunt rabbits in here it’s so quiet. Whatever people who are here are walking around in weekend wear, the jeans and flannel shirts of comfort are in full force.

Coming into work when almost nobody else is around is a favorite thing of mine to do. Call me wacky, but I get more done when nobody else is around than when there are people around having conversations and calling and wanting to do silly silly things like ‘have meetings.’ Really, it’s almost too much for my highly distractable brain to take. For some reason, when I’m in the office at a nonstandard time, my productivity goes way the heck up.

Anyone have a theory why?


Speaking of distractable, I think there’s a leak in the ceiling right behind my cube. I put my umbrella there to dry out, and every once in a while there a distinct percussive ‘bonk’ of a drop hitting the tight fabric.

Because I am so curious, and also very helpy, I have decided to turn the umbrella upside down to CATCH the drops, thereby being more able to pinpoint the exact spot of drippage, which I will them mark with some tape or something. Once I’ve triangulated the area of interest, I shall call facilities and report my findings.

Ah, there’s another drop.

Oops! And another!

Say now, it appears as though there is a dual drop dispersal pattern going on. Huh. Now that I look more closely, I do believe that there is some suspicious bulging of the ceiling tiles right in the area behind my cube, from whence cometh the interior precipitation.

Hmm, I also spy several areas of water staining on the ceiling, though not in the places from whence arise “my” issues. I can see two right near the windows, aamof.

Dear me. This is disconcerting.

How much time do I have before the whole shebang gives way and washes me in a cold musty rain of leakage and spongy-wet drop ceiling? How much water can your average acoustical ceiling tile absorb before its structural integrity is overwhelmed and it becomes a soggy hazard to life and limb?

This is terrifically distracting. Why, there could be a thousand gallons of cold rainwater above my head, just WAITING for the right moment to come cascading through the roof and onto poor unsuspecting me. Yes, it’s highly worrying. I should call someone. Report my findings. Let them know of my concerns.

The stress is growing. I mean, I do NOT want it to stop raining (rain = hot showers and flushable toilets in this drought-stricken part of the world), but if the rain causes my overall comfort level to plummet from “yay, I’m working and nobody is around to bother me” to “oh shit, at any moment I could be doused in a chilly cataclysm of precipitation that’s been filtered through architecture,” then I don’t think that being HERE is going to do my powers of concentration any good.

My God! It’s like the Chinese water torture! It’s inhumane! They’re testing me, right? The upper management wants to see me crack! Yes? When’s the next drip going to come? At what point will they begin to drop someplace that I can’t catch them? Where’s a bucket?

Ack! There’s another one. When’s the second drop going to fall? Do they come in twos or was I imagining things earlier? Is there a pattern? What microorganisms are breeding in the stanky-ass water than’s falling through this building? I feel a cough coming on…is it Legionnaire’s Disease? Can I get time off for that? Can I get time off for braving the THREAT of Legionnaire’s Disease?

I’m torn here, people. Should I pray for the rain to stop, or suck it up and be glad that it’s raining inside as well as outside?

Gah! From the looks of the weather map, it could be HOURS before the rain stops. I could be quite over the edge by then. If, indeed, I’m not there already.

Oh, and the first one to tell me “you should be glad it’s not snow” gets a kick in the sit-upon. I’d far RATHER the snow. Then I coulda stood at home, y’all. Coulda stood that REAL good.


Oh, and Happy Boxing Day! Go put some gloves on a beat the tar out of someone! You KNOW you want to.

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