Friday, October 26, 2007

It's genetic, plus random acts of tangentitude and headlines

This morning Thing 2 was telling a quick story about a little interchange he had the other day. Seems that the Things were hanging out in the car while their Dad was purchasing some adult beverage in the alphabet store, and a woman from the next car over was a tad confused about how to get in the store to procure some potable of her own.

(author's note: methinks she maybe might not have needed more of the spiritous liquors, but who am I to judge?)

The nice/confused/possibly semi-drunk lady asked out loud "How do I get in this place?" and my darling younger son, knowing full well that the driver's side window (right next to where she was admitting her confusion) said "well, ya
could try the door!"

So, she did.

I am very proud of Thing 2 for combining helpiness with a generous helping of snark.

It must here be mentioned that Thing 1 was was very busy "shushing" his brother during this exchange, not realizing that Thing 2 KNEW the window was open and the ditz from next door could hear it.

How two such different children came from the same set of parents, I'll never know.


So, my little rant about water use the other day must have worked its way into the ears of whatever almighty power it takes to rain, for ever since that day it's been raining.

And as sure as gravity keeps us on this planet, there are total doofmeisters out there who are now using water at a furious clip, revelling in the "end" of the drought, believing that one rain makes a reservoir.

To those people I'd like to say this:

It ain't over. This tiny serving of moisture didn't fill up the lake. We are still dry, even though your windshield wipers are getting a workout lately. Dudes, just check out the graphical representation of the extent of the drought in North Carolina as of yesterday:

Colors represent percentiles of general 7-day average streamflow conditions for the day of the year

It's not over, people. Not by a long shot. A good chunk of this state is dry as the mouth of a stoner three tokes in. It's going to take a lot more than a few days' rain to turn on the taps to anywhere near full force again.

So, to do my part, I'm willing the clouds to stay overhead by repeating the message that might have precipitated the precipitation in the first place, if I can be so precipitous in my prevarication as to suggest I had any role whatsoever in precipitating the rain.

Sure wish I could have worked the word "precipice" in that last sentence somewhere.


Oh dear. It's Friday, and other than the weekly infusion of baked goods here in the office, it's also somewhat of a tradition to offer up some news headlines here at NAY.

So, here goes!

Iraqis try to defuse tension with Turkey

Come to Mohammed's Turkey Bar, where the fuse of your your tension will be snuffed once you've tasted our fried turkey legs! Not a fan of fried foods? Then try our turkey tapas, tiny bits of tryptophan guaranteed to soothe your savage breast.

Can we say breast? Oh Allah, here come the cops! Grab the gobblers and RUN FOR IT!

Pair get hitched at Ohio haunted house

Clip and Clop the Cyldesdales were strapped into the buggy rigging successfully, despite the playful poltergeists who kept undoing the buckles.

Evacuees return to ashes, uncertainty

Beats turning into a pillar of salt, I guess.

Edwards raps Clinton, Romney on Iran

(oh dear lord, here comes another "white girl rapping" thing...sorry folks, I can't help myself)

I say I say I say, yo
I say I say I say, yo

Some call me chickenhawk
and I got that
some say I'm just chicken
yo that ain't phat
I'm a rootin' tootin' guster of a charming southern lad
tellin' Clinton and the ball glove that their take on Iran's BAD

I say I say I say, YO
I say I say I say YO

They're all for blowing
The burkas offa women
They're all for showin'
The bombs that we be givin'
I'm against the rampant pandering to the GOP TRIBE
Tellin' Clinton and the ball glove to get the Demmo VIBE

No war, No war, No war, YO!
No war, No war, No war, YO!

I say, y'all, come ovah heyah
Let this chickenhawk whisper
In your ambition-stuffed ear
No war, No war, No war, YO!
No war, No war, No war, YO!


Have a terrific Friday and a wonderful weekend, y'all. I am owt!

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