Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Bits and snippets

Took a new route to work this morning, and as such passed places I've never seen before. Rolling countryside, farms, a cupla too tree trailer parks, more farms, more fields, and a "Donkey Mall."

A Donkey Mall? Is that where they serve Donkey Punch? I've heard it has a kick.


For some reason, the term "Rastacrappian" came up in a converzation with a friend this morning. I know, y'all, I know.

Here's where it went in MY mind:

Rastacrappian...... Rastacrappian hairstyles....... Dreadlocks of poop........Lots of different sizes...... All different shades of brown.......

Obviously, the place the Rastacrappians live smells like crap, but they've got the best herb around, so who cares?

By the way, the Rastacrappians live on Senekot 5, in the Gastro System, which is on the rim of the Farfelonus Galaxy.

Sigh. Sometimes I wish my brain didn't live in my head.


Which, of course, got me thinking about OTHER places you wouldn't want to go on vacation, if space travel were possible. Places like:

The planet Borbyrygmus, where the mud flats belch out gases the smell like onions and beer.

The Pedal Galaxy, with destinations like "Lichen Planus" and "Onychomycosia." Also home to some of the universe's finest toe cheese makers, if you don't mind a bit of fuzz with your appetizer.

Themepark Emesis on the planet Ilea, which might SOUND nice, but features such attractions as the "Slurp n' Hurl" and the popular (to some) "Barf Comet." I've heard you should NEVER eat the hot dogs at Emesis, especially the green ones. You'd be better off bringing your own chow.


Sigh. Again.

The sad part is that I could go on all day about stuff like this. Being in the medical field, I see and read my share of really really gross stuff that is named strangely attractively. Like fecoliths, and osteonecrosis, and maculopapular rash, and rhabdolmyolysis, and aspergillosis (not to mention coccidiomycosis, which is really really gross).

To name a few.

After about 10 years of this exposure, I've gotten inured to the shock value inherent in the things that can go horribly wrong with people. A regular exercise I undertake for my job is to sift through piles of data from studies in which everything that DID go wrong with folks is categorized and summarized and analyzed, and wow, the stuff that can happen to people.

Hyperhidrosis, for one (that's excess sweatiness).

Orthostatic hypotension, for another (that's a drop in blood pressure when someone stands up, usually leading to immediate falling down).

Balanitis, for another (that's an infection of the head of the penis. sorry guys)

Hepatomegaly (an increase in the size of the liver, often to shockingly large proportion)

Menorrhagia (abnormally heavy menstrual bleeding. sorry gals)

The list is almost endless. This is what surrounds me, this is what I work with, this is what I KNOW can happen to people far more often than one would think possible. Is it any wonder then that I find "rastacrappians" so daggone hilarious?

I think not.

No comments: