Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Fit to be Tried

Dudes, I totally need your help. Like, totally.

As some of y'all know (because I bray about it from time to time here in NAY), I have been fitfully engaged in a quest to either "bring skinny back" or "to at least not jiggle like a bowlful of jelly when I make even the slightest movement."

Some of these efforts have NOT been in vain, for I have lost 16 pounds since the middle of January and am seeing certain gratifying results, like being able to wear pants with zippers and waistbands and having jeans that used to be literal side-splitters turn into comfortable road trip wear. I am getting excited to drop the other 20 that I bet Biff Spiffy I'd lose before he does (or at the very least, by July 4th).

I'm SO excited that I signed up for a "spring into fitness" thing at work, in which I now need to exercise 30-50 minutes a day so that my team can meet OUR goal so we can get prezzies and cool stuff.

An aside - One wonders why I cannot channel this excitement into things like WORK and CLEANING, so as to save myself the public humiliation when the inevitable struggle to meet that fitness goal arrives. I have no answers......

No matter, the deed is done, and I now must shake the pasty ol' tailfeather to the tune of a half an hour OR MORE a day (I'm branded for 250 minutes a week, y'all!) so as not to let my teammates down.

These teammates, it should be noted, include a person that has run a marathon, someone who's skinny as a rail, and another person who possesses abs of something stronger than steel because I've seen him work out and steel would melt under the kind of strain he puts on those suckers. No pressure from THOSE dudes. None.At.All.

Why, with people like THAT on my team I envision that they'll agree to make up my time for me to get the team to goal, because, really, what's another 15 minutes of workout them THEM? A pittance, a trifle, a mere shadow of a thought! Why, they could pump out another 100 crunches and throw them in MY tally pile! They could give a little extra effort and run a mile for me, saving me the effort and allowing me to pursue a REAL goal, like getting to level 12 on speed Chuzzle.


I expect they WON'T.

Cheapskates. Misers. Penurious stinkwads.


The bottom line of this exercise (hee!) means that I won't be able to skip the stairs at work, or to rest on my current weight loss laurels and lose the rest by hoping, or morph back into a cheeto-eatin, beer-swillin, nap-takin, stress-lovin, sweat-avoindin' office drone of a certain age who simply doesn't CARE anymore.

Because I DO care. A lot. My heart cares. My lungs care. My butt, for all its alabaster beauty, cares very deeply. Therefore, I care. Oh, sure, my BRAIN can try to play tricks on me and rationalize like a crazed dervish on a cocaine bender, but the body knows the real score. The body is happy about the pants that now zip. The body is happy about the new waistline. The body loves that people notice it's losing weight, and so, for now, the body WINS.

Three cheers for the body!! Go, go, GO!


So, here's the deal. I need y'all to give me some hints about what you do to get your daily recommended intake of work-out-i-tude. Difficulty points: has to be something I can do in short bursts, doesn't require a honkin' pile of equipment, and can be done by someone with kinda crappy coordination and balance. I'm looking for something fun and new to add to a routine of walking, stair-stepping, and weight lifting. Something maybe that can be done in my office, that doesn't require a change of clothes, that I can do to bolster my minutes of exercise, etc etc etc.

Got anything like that hanging around?

Well, do ya??

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