Thursday, January 11, 2007

Out of left field it flies

Let's begin with a question: Do you know what happens when you work from home for a couple of weeks?

Answer: Not much. Certainly nothing bloggable.

Unless you count a second night of really weird dreams, in which, after a series of dizzying vertical spirals over the New Jersey shoreline, a jet airplane's wings curl up like the Wicked Witch of the East's shoes after the fatal MFN blow was delivered, then spring back to shape while the captain mumbles "sonic boom" over the intercom, after which the plane levels at about 1000 feet and flies into an unexpected (and very THICK) cloud bank and the captain can then be heard saying "this shouldn't be here, I check with the Bush National Weather Service!"

And if THAT'S the kind of nonsense that is going to be going on in my brain because of an overall lack of social stimulation, then I have to say I'm ready for this at-home stint to end so I can get back to the regular bump n' grind of the workweek, because, y'all, if this is my brain in relaxation, you can take it right back. I need some stress to quench that synaptic creativity, truly I do. I can't take too many more morning of waking up with a start, eyes snapping open either in amusement (yesterday) or terror (today), and willing myself to go back to sleep, except it's already 6 a.m. and it's time to get up, so goodbye nice soft warm snuggly bed and hello Mr Coffee.

Also, maybe, a quick not-a-meme, 'cause y'all, my brain's still in the jet and it ain't pretty. (Also, Kim? Please don't be driving a tan minivan in NYC on a snowy day in rush-hour trafffic anytime soon, because after it stalls and you start taping the rude driving behavior of the other motorists who zoom by you at 60 miles an hour, I can't vouch for what happens after the first thousand of so vehicles go by, because I couldn't bear to look anymore and had to wake up. Nice cinematography work though, I have to say).
Ocean or Lake ?

Pizza or Chinese?

Mansion or Penthouse?
Mansion, thanks for asking

Have you been on a Jet Ski?

Are you afraid of clowns?
no, I actively despise them

How many brothers/sisters do you have?
2 brothers

Favorite band/group?
Can't pick a favorite - too much out there to pick one.

Baseball or football?

Favorite brand of makeup?
what? makeup? brand? no.

Do you have an IPod?
Nope – feel free to get me one

Bike or scooter?

Ever go in a hot air balloon?
Go where?

What brand computer do you have?
some HP thing

How many times have you been to Disneyworld ?

Favorite city?
London, or NYC

Do you think you are fat?
Horrible question. Next.

Ever throw up in a public place?
yes. next question please

Do you have a pool?
Yes. It holds about 8 inches of water and sits on the deck in summertime.

How many times a month do you go to the movies?
month? people go on a monthly basis?

Last movie you saw?
Saw "The Wickerman" in DVD the other night, and would have had more fun ripping out my own hair piece by piece. What a terrible awful no-good very bad movie.

How old are your parents?

What deceased person would you like to meet?
Well, if they're going to be rotting corpses, then any one of them I guess, because that would be cool. If they're going to be like they were in real life, then I'd go for Jesus, to prove to myself that he was a real person. Oh, the conversation we would have!

Do you chew ice?

Have you been to California ?

Last book you read?
Can't recall.

Do you like to go fishing?
Yes, and I can tell a spinner bait from a popper from a spoon and will bait my own hook, thanks very much for asking.

What is you average in school?
Dude, like, I'm TOTALLY ace-ing every subject except algebra......the teacher totally doesn't get me. (WTF? I'm not in school anymore)

Favorite professional team?
Of what?

Do you like mohawks?
Wish I had one

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Do you floss?
sure, right before a trip to the dentist.

Do you have braces?
Used to - got 'em at 38 YO.

Do you bite your nails?

What is your last thought before falling asleep?
"that was nice"

Do you fall in love easily?
Used to, but now that I know what love is, I don't.

Ever have a crush and they never knew?

Do you babysit?

Ever been shot at?
Yes - and shot. With a BB gun, but still, that hurt!

Do you consider yourself nice?

Do you go to camp for the summer?
Yes! Well, I did. Girls Scout camp, church camp and stuff as a kid, then compaing as an adult. LOVE it.

Have you been on a boat?
Yes. Lotsa times. Big 'uns, little 'uns, powerboats, sailboats, battleships....

Ever break a bone?
Yep - not a biggie, but enough to go "ow" about a million times. Fingers, toes, that kind of thing.

What is your ultimate job?
We discussed that the other day. Pass.

Do you want to walk on the moon?
OMG yes!!!

Can you name the seven dwarfs?
Let's see, there's Stumpy, Pablo, Alfonse, Little Dude, The Terminette, Squiggy, and, um, oh crap, I always forget the last one!

Favorite TV show?
Get ready for it........."Antiques Road Show."

Apples or oranges?
Apples. Soothes my need to BITE THINGS!

Favorite model of car?

Favorite flower?

Favorite color?
Black. Or maybe that gray-green mossy color. Wait, turquoise? i used to say "blue," but I don't think that's true anymore.

Ever climb out your bedroom window?
Yes, kind of - when I was in grad school I had an apartment on the top floor, and could climb out the kitchen window onto the roof to catch some rays. Climbing back IN was always interesting - I ususally just kind of dove headfirst and somersaulted to dismount.

Do you live in an apartment or house?

How many times in the last month have you had the hiccups?
None. I don't have them on principle.

Ever laugh so hard milk came out your nose?
No. OJ, yes, and it stings like a futhamucka.

How many cousins do you have?
why on earth is this question in here? OK, um, let's see....7.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure, why not? Who else would be making the walls bleed and knocking over my antique glassware?

If you were a bird, what would you be?
An ostrich

Ever get stitches?
Lots of them, both the surgical kind and the "help me I can't breathe" kind while running. Can't say as I care for either kind.

If you could, would you want to know what your future was going to be?
No. This one had me goign back and forth for a while, because as a curious person I WANT to know, but then as a practical person I realize that KNOWING would mean that I would then try to CREATE that future.....and that sounds like asking for a heaping helping of confusion and goal-oriented work and I can't have that.

How many kids do you want to have?
As many as I have right now

If you could change your name, what would it be?
Tiff (Ahahahahaaaa!!!!!! Woo! I crack myself up. Oh, seriously? I LIKE my regular name, though I do wish that good ol' Mom and Dad had made it a touch less gender-ambiguous so those buulk mailer people would know I'm not a "Mister." A small thing, and of no real consequence I suppose.)

Dogs or cats?

Who do you tell your problems to?
I gots lotsa these folks around, but I'm not naming names, because it's a secret and I'm not sure YOU could keep it. I mean, I like you and all, but, well, I don't know if I can TRUST you.

Who can your tell your secrets to and know they wont tell?
I gots lotsa these folks around, but I'm not naming names, because it's a secret and I'm not sure YOU could keep it. I mean, I like you and all, but, well, I don't know if I can TRUST you.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Lust at first sight - heck yeah.

Do you go to church?
no....but I do pray, and believe in God, and hope to go to heaven when I die (as highly unlikely as that may sound), and try to be a good person, and teach my kids to be morally and ethically upstandg, and we say grace before dinner, so does that count? At all? Maybe a little?

Would you marry outside your religion?
Because I'm pretty much areligious, I'd have to say yes. Or is it no?

Volleyball or tennis?
No fair to name the two sports I can actually PLAY, and make me choose. OK, Volleyball.

Ever ride in a limo?

Ever drink champagne?
Yes. I loathe it, but I'll drink to the happy couple or to the New Year if that's all you've got.


Added extra bonus feature - exactly 30 seconds before I went to hit the "publish" button, my internet access crashed. See, you ASK for things to happen, and they so. Amazing.

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