Monday, December 04, 2006


I received a very interesting e-mail yesterday, and I am so excited to tell y'all about this groovy new opportunity I have been offered.

The best way to explain what it's all about is to just repeat the e-mail sent to me and THEN talk about what this could mean.

So, here goes!


Dear blog author:

We recently came across your site,, while searching for fellow christian bloggers.

A small group of us have started a new site called Christian Bloggers. Our prayer and intent is to bring Christians closer together, and make a positive contribution to the Internet community. While many of us have different "theologies", we all share one true saviour.

Would you be interested in joining Christian Bloggers? Please take a few minutes to have a look at what we are trying to do, and if you are interested, there is a sign up page to get the ball rolling. We would greatly appreciate your support in this endeavour.

May God Bless you and your blogging efforts. We look forward to hearing from you.

Craig Cantin
Christian Bloggers

Please note: you will receive this email only once. You can join or visit Christian Bloggers at any time, but we do not believe in spam, and will not intentionally send this invite more than once. If you have any concerns regarding our anti-spam policy, please do not hesitate to contact us.


Firstly, what is it about MY wee corner of the web that screams out "Christian blogger"? Have I unwittingly aligned myself with that brand of theology? Am I unsuscpectingly shutting out the Jews and Muslims and Pagans and Buddhists and Hindus and all other practitioners of all other religions though some super-secret code that the Christian Bloggers Association has somehow cracked and with which they've claimed me as one of their own?

If so, I'm sorry, all y'all non-Christian readers and bloggers. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry if talking about Christmas or youthful church choir anics sent me clear over the fence into an exclusive camp. I didn't mean for it to. I'm sorry if my invite to the CBA means we can't be friends anymore, even if I don't intend on EVER joining them, even if they ARE nondenominational and therefore potentially harmless because of the mixing of theologies that might perhaps cool the Pentecostal's firey rhetoric while warming up the Prebyterians to room temperature, making a tepid weak stew with the the flavor of flour and the texture of tapioca.

(oh yes, I did just say that.....paging Hell, I'm on my way!)

As Groucho Marx once said, "I don't want to be a part of any club that would have me as a member."

So, CBA, I'm sorry to you too. I cannot join your august-if-maybe-a-little-overenthusiastic club, for that would be exclusionary and unfair, and would be a lie because, unlike your assumption, I'm not altogether certain I share your one true "saviour," the spelling of which makes me think that maybe y'all are from Canada or Bermuda and your "endeavour" smacks of international intrigue and I can't have that.

Plus which, I'm really hoping for an invite to the "Mommy Bloggers Association" first. One must keep the eyes on the prize, after all, because we all know the BIG money's in that camp.


I wonder what would happen to that CBA invite if my new wanna-be friends the Christian bloggers found out that someone searched the following phrases and found MY website?

"Hot wet grandma pussy anal."

Or this one:

"Aunts give enemas."

Would they be proud to have me associated with their association, or would they dissociate me from their association even if I'd already associated with the association?

Would having my blog come up in the results list for those search strings automatically grant me entree into the Perverted Bloggers of America Association? 'Cause if so, I haven't gotten notification from them yet. Not like I would JOIN, mind you (though I might think about it a lot and maybe ask some questions and perhaps sign up for a free trial), but it sounds maybe a little more fun than the CBA.

I'm just sayin', is all.

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