Many of you might not realize it, but I started blogging, almost a year ago, for one primary reason:
To gain power in a bid for eventual world domination.
Sadly, as of now, my quest has run a little short of the expected goal, in that I do not yet have throngs of rabid sycophants waiting on my beck and call and slavishly commenting in a positive manner by the hundreds, no matter what sort of dreck I might post.
It's hard to have big dreams. Very very hard.
I got to thinking the other day - Perhaps the reason I'm not yet adored by millions, lusted after by thousands, or "atta girl'ed" by the hordes milling around out there on the interwebs is that I lack a "presence." An identity, if you will. I tried changing the template, to moderately pleasing results, but realized that without some kind of power-push toward the end zone I might forever be merely another in a vast sea of protozoal bloggers who hide behind a thin veil of anonymity, cranking out word after word in hopes that their efforts will be rewrded by increasing readership through some miracle of word of mouth.
Well, my dear friends, I expect that all that will end today.
For today, I am something more than Tiff. I have a new identity, given to me by one who has similar goals in life.
From now on, one of my honorifics will be "SKITTLE," because I've been made An Evil Kitty of the Realm. A personage, dare I say it, of increased presence on the web through the bestowement of this honor.
In addition, I now have a hella sexy alter-identity, if I do say so myself.
Rowwwwr, babies - meet "The Tigress."
As if THAT wasn't enough, I bring you more! I can hear your cries in the night now, because I have tigerific hearing, and I can see your beseeching eyes, because I have tigerific vision, and I KNOW you want me to tell you a little story.
And so I shall, because once my time comes, I would like to be remembered as a kindly sort of world dominatrix. It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?
I shall tell you the story Thing 1 likes to tell when he's asked to tell a story. Its not very long, but it is complete, and allows enough latitude in its brevity for the listener (or reader) to fill in many blanks.
It goes like this:
Once upon a time there was a bear. He lived in the woods, and then he died. The End.
And, much like the short story, this post is over. I have to go wax my claws.
No post tomorrow. I'm winging my way to the Northeast for for some wacky doings by the shore. Have a faboo weekend, y'all, and I'll see you Monday.