Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Confusion reigns supreme

Firstly, let me just say that this story has one very telling line. I have a feeling that the "4-inch organ" thing might have been a little disappointing.


Secondly, and this is the major point I want to make in today's post, it is always wise to keep your emotions under control.

Knowing that, I now say that today I am going to play the part of the town idiot.

Here's why.

I belong to a few group blogs, sometimes going by Tiff, sometimes not. One of the group blogs has been undergoing somewhat of a renovation lately, to the confusion and consternation of most of its members. This group blog is administered by someone who, it appears, believes that the people who contribute to the group blog should not have any sense of ownership of it because he started it and therefore can do anything he wants to with it.

Including kicking everybody out with no warning.

You know what? I'm pissed about that.

I'm pissed because I DID have some sense of ownership. I DID have some sense of comraderie. I DID have some sense of belonging to a group of cool people who were having fun.

I DO have a sense of being jerked around.

I HATE being jerked around.

Hate it, hate it, hate it.

My emotions are absolutely not in control. I fee like an idiot for being angry. I feel used, quite frankly, and duped by believing that my contributions, no matter how small, were useful or entertaining or whatever.

But, you know, maybe they weren't useful or entertaining or whatever, and if they weren't then I wouldn't mind if the group owner had said to me "you know, your stuff just isn't really fitting in with the remit of this exercise, so I'm going to take you off the rolls. Thanks for playing." I could take that. I really could. I'm a big girl, I can understand REASONS, and know that I'm not all things to all people. But that's not what happened.



It's just a stupid blog, for God's sake! My life will go on. If I'm invited back I won't go. There's no way on this earth or any other that I need that kind of confusion. I do NOT need to sit around waiting for crumbs of acceptance and inclusion, like some sycophantic toady grovelling at the altar of an imperious overlord.

Seethe, seethe, seethe. Grrrrrr.........

I need to wrangle my anger into something useful, like a whirl of productivity so tremendous that I might actually get all my outstanding training done, catch up on my project tracking, write everything I'm supposed to, pay my bills, return those library books, polish my nails, clean my house, help the kids with their homework, water the plants, and get a freaking life already.

Yeah, that's it.

But for now, grrrrrrr.......dammit.

(author's postscript - I did get over it, but not before I acted like a big fucking baby and whined like a mofo and acted a little rashly. And even though that all felt good at the time, it doesn't now. When will I learn to grow up already?)

Thirdly, here's a peach of a news item: Wowser, the things kids learn at school these days.


Fourthly - there's a new challenge up at Wordsmithsunlimited. A tone poem of words, if you will. Check it out, and play along, won't you?

No comments: