Friday, August 18, 2006

Darn STRAIGHT we got the news right here!

It's Friday.

It's Friday and I'm over my funk from yesterday.

It's Friday, I'm over my funk from yesterday, and I think I've swung WAAAAY over to the other side of the emoti-meter, stright on to "giddy as all hell."

Therefore, let's commence to abusing some Yahoo headlines!

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(click on the link to get the REAL story, if you're so inclined. I didn't, but that's because I didn't want to squash the giddy I got workin' here today....)

Letter threatens to blow up Taj Mahal

In breaking news, the letter "X" has sent a missive to the rest of the alphabet, threatning to "ex"plode an "ex"pensive landmark if greater use of its "ex"cellent properties as a standalone letter are not "ex"pedited.

Barry Manilow to have hip surgery

Because, dude, he's SO not hip anymore, but this new procedure is totally supposed to fix that.

Researchers link music tastes to HIV risks

(I had something here about show tunes and disco, but because it was in extraordinarily poor taste I opted out and herein offer my apologies to the entire gay male community. Guess I'm still not over the 80's.

Come to find out, youths who are hooked on GOSPEL music, among others, are at higher risk for HIV. This makes no sense to me, because those kids aren't SUPPOSED to be gettin' it on, are they? Huh? Are they?

Please note that being addicted to classical music was not among the increased risk factor music listening group. Feel free to insert your favorite band geek joke here. I know none of them are true, but I don't feel it's my place to disabuse you of any misgotten notion that band "wallys" are asexual freaks who don't get bizzy under the bleachers on Friday nights during the football game. Believe what you want, but this girl KNOWS better. Those marching band uniforms are not as hard to work around as you might think.)

N.Y.C. Mayor Bloomberg woos Democrats

In strange scene yesterday afternoon, New York's mayor Bloomberg got all "girls gone wild" on some young women wearing "Hilary for President" tee shirts in the West Village. Later, he explained his ill-timed "woo!-ing" on a contact high from a hookah parlor he'd just passed while on his daily jog.

Balancing robot may care for elderly

And then, on the other hand, it may not.

South African health chief's ouster eyed

"Sure and he's got a wicked cute ouster," said Mandy Terbuckle, 24, when asked recently to rate government functionaries' naughty bits. "But Tony Blair's is way cuter, and I've heard things about the Pope's that you simply would NOT believe."

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Annnnd, once again Blogger is not performing the "insert picture" function, so the chocolate Virgin Mary and the Monkey Gang will have to wait. If not til later, then forever.

I'm sorry, but there's nothing more we can do here.

Have a good one, y'all!

14 comments:

Tracy Lynn said...

HA! OUSTER!

Carrie said...

I'm glad you are feeling better. Have a great weekend!

Terri said...

Hi from Michele's....

Deb R said...

OMG, no way am I clicking on any of those things because the real stories couldn't possibly be as entertaining as your take on them! LOL!!

I saw the photo of the chocolate Virgin Mary this morning. I was unimpressed. A friend of mine has Jesus rock that's much better!

tiff said...

TL - heheheh.

carrie - thanks, you too!

Terri - thanks for stopping by

deb r - the chocolate mary looked yummy, no?

utenzi said...

Michele sent me, Tiff.

Are there headlines on a daily basis that lend themselves so well to being lampooned or was today just unusually good for that? The Barry Manilow one was especially good. On a more serious note, while I doubt the Taj Mahal is in any real danger I think anyone that harms it should be stoned to death. That is just such a beautiful building.

tiff said...

utenzi - it seems that on certain weeks the folks at yahoo are just serving up heapin helpins of humor, for which I thank them.

I agree with the taj mahal thought. the beauty and sentiment of that place is a global treasure.

Chelle said...

Letter threatens to blow up Taj Mahal
- extraordinary!!!!

rennratt said...

All of your responses are PRICELESS!

But - since WHEN has Barry Manilow not been Hip?!

tiff said...

mmm3 - see? you get it! Wooo! :>

renn - oh, poor misguided girl. He lost HIP when Tom Jones got it back. Now, when are you free for lunch?

rennratt said...

Would you prefer Thursday or Friday? My assistant is on vacation next week, so I will welcome an escape!

hovatter62 said...

Ha - I was "Mary Banilow" in a talent show once, and I have lots of hip(s)! Great headlines!

utenzi said...

A neighbor!

tiff said...

renn - let's go nuts and do it Thursday.

hov62 - You? Manilow? You must have had a nasal prosthetic to pull THAT one off....

utenzi - yup - sure looks that way!