Thursday, July 20, 2006

I'm not a death bed blogger

But boy, am I close.

Here it is, after 1 on Thursday afternoon, I have WAY too much to do in the next few hours, which is when I should quit working and go home to my family, and yet, and yet, and yet....

I blog.

Because I am a consummate time-waster.

I do this wasting of time, apparently, so that on my drive home I can castigate myself for being so freaking lame as to leave the sword of utter failure still swinging by a hair above my head, when I could have taken it down, polished it, killed several threatning ninjas (or pirates) with it, had it re-forged with the blood of my enemies, used a butter knife to inscribe on its tang a terse message of warning to all who dare use it for evil, and hung it back up with some stout cording in the time it took me to waste the time I did.

But work is so, work-y, and blogging is so,,,,, fun! Fun!

Though, thinking about it, perhaps not as much fun as whuppin' ass on a bunch of ninjas.


Why is it that the kid who woke you up at 3:30 in the morning with first the noises of puke-age and then the actual puke, can bounce out of bed a few hours later as bright and cheery as if nothing at all had ever happened while you clutch a cistern's worth of cuban coffee in your shaking hands, willing the caffeine to wake you up enough to make a cogent thought?

Being a parent is fun! Fun!


One upside of the whole early morning urping episode is that, once I fell back to sleep (at 4! Fun!) I had dreams so real that I could have sworn to you that I did indeed get into a horrific car accident that threw me through the cracked windshield, at which occurrence my first thought was "good, now the insurance company will pay to have it replaced"?

I mean, wha??? Where'd the dream of Captain Jack Sparrow go, the one in which he discovers I am not a cabin boy after all but a living breating woman with creamy white cleavage and breastal heavitude of astounding proportion? Huh? Where'd THAT one go?


I'd also trade the windshield dream with the Jean Luc Picard one. You know what I'm talking about, I know darned well you do. No? You mean you don't know the one in which Jean Luc P is near death after a fight with Q, and you, as the wraith of space-time with a capacity to heal the most mortal of wounds, sweep through the airlocks from the gamma-plus quadrant, invisible to everyone, and wrap him in tender plasma tendrils, exchanging your strength for his injury, at which point you become flesh and blood and the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and you smile kindly and place your soft new hand on his bare chest and offer to share some more?

Well, now you do!

(Picard haters out there, feel free to substitue Captain Kirk, or Spock, or Number 1, or Uhura, or Dr. Crusher, or that empath woman with the crazy Mom and the terrific hair...)

And now that I've outed mysef as a geek of reasonably high order, I will also admist a certain facination for Snape. And Lucius Malfoy. Rowr!

And that's enough for today, y'all, eee-nuff.


kapgar said...

We're ALL consummate time wasters. Isn't that why we blog?

Rick said...

Holy shit, girl, you have seriously outed yourself! So who wins, Terminator or Predator? (It is the ultimate unmade rematch, ya know.)

tiff said...

predator, duh. it's invisible...


tiff said...

isn't it?

(shuffles off to go watch some celebrity death match to up her geek quotient)

Rick said...

Invisible, yes, but non-Terminator Arnold got him the first time around.

WordsRock said...

mmmmmmm.... Dr. Crusher, or Bev as I call her in my dreams....

Anonymous said...

Damn. I was already planning my "geek" comment, what I'd say, what evil bile would spew forth into cyberspace, the names I'd call you. Then you admitted your fascination with both Snape and Malfoy. And like that, I have a girl-crush on you.

Hyperion said...

No way you whip a bunch of ninja (the plural is the same as the singular). In this way (among others), ninja are alot like moose.

rennratt said...

Mmm. Throw in the boys from Farscape, and I am game!

Kingfisher said...

Creamy white cleavage and breastal heavitude of astounding proportion...


Make it so.

Erica said...

mmmmmmm, plasma tendrils.
Was watching El Kirk last night and thinking - if he would only refrain from SPEAKING, he'd be remotely fuckable.

I'm sorry - did I say that out loud? On this, a family-friendly blog? Shit.

tiff said...

RIck - you have a point, but machine vs invisible reptilian? I'd still go with the lizard.

WordsRock - I've got your number now, Missy! :> Is the cheekbones, or what?

WN - now it's reciprocal! Yay!

Hyp - ass-whuppin doesn't work on ninja? Shoot, I've got to get a new game plan.

Renn - I get D'Argo.

Kingfisher - whisper that in my ear and I'll do what I can.

Erica - you can say fuck in the comments. :> I agree with you on the boink-ability quotient, but I think I'd still go for Spock over him most days...

Grace said...

Now Spock was a crush of mine from WAAAAAY back...something about that intellect just killed me, even as a youngster.

Now that I think about it, he and Snape have that in common. But of course, not much else. And did I ever mention to you that I adore Snape???

Loved your dream sequence, except for the car crash of course. Glad that one stayed put in the Nether Realm.

Your blog is so fun! FUN!!

tiff said...

grace - I check out your blog ,ang I know that you've to a thang for the rickster...which naturally leads to a thing for snape. it all makes sense, really.