Have you ever been mistaken for someone else? I have been, a LOT.
Throughout my life I've consistently been confused for other people. Perhaps it's because there's a plethora of other tall brassy-haired freckled nordic women out there that are almost indistinguishable from one another, who knows?
There was the guy in college who swore I was the St. Pauli Girl, and confessed to certain self-pleasuring sessions imagining me in a bavarian peasant girl outfit.
There was the woman in the WalMart 15 years ago who asked me if I was Kim Basinger.
There was the girl who thought I was her best friend from third grade - when we were both in our early 20's. Some good memory on that gal, I tell ya.
There was the cute young teller at the credit union who looked at me one recent day, and said - "You know what? I just figured out something. You look just like my Mom."
(That one hurt.)
It's bothered me throughout my life that I don't have a particular "look" that I can call my own. It's like I don't have the "Tiff" look, I look LIKE too many other people to have my own "thang." I remind people of their neightbor, or teacher, or old friend, or some actress, or a cartoon beer wench.
A former manager called me "as Swedish as they come," which is completely WRONG because I'm not swedish at all, but perhaps the combination of my heritages has melded into the archtypical "swede-ette," which makes me think I should convert religions to something more Lutheran, but that would be getting off the point, so let's not go there.
Maybe, to break free of the ongoing doppelgangerism I should color my hair something different - dark brown or red or stark blond. Maybe I should get a really obvious piercing, or shave my head, or wear opaque white makeup that covers the "hale and hearty" look I got goin' on. Go Goth, maybe.
It's just that, it would be NICE to have something identifiably MINE, that doesn't instantly put people to thinking of someone else when they first see me.
Just as long as I can still look like the St. Pauli Girl from time to time. I think the beer wench costumes are pretty cute.
Remember that work thing I talked about yesterday?
I actually did some! I know! Color me shocked!!! Amazing!
You know what sucks? I have to do more today.
Two neat sites to leave you with today.
As an FYI - I have a thing for old places, the older the better. When I went to Westminster Abbey and the Tower of London a couple of years ago I thought I was in heaven. The worn stone steps, the old tombs, the 500-year-old trees (from which people were hung!), the whole history-soaked aura got me giddy.
I like buildings that have old advertising painted on their sides. I like when you can see where windows or doors have been bricked over. I love trying to figure out which way roads USED to go 100 years ago before the 4-lane highways took over. I like old books with rough pages and cracked spines. I like old postcards and letters, spotted with age and crease-worn. There's a certain smell of history to me, if I can put it that way, that I think is immesely enjoyable.
Which is why these 2 sites are so awesome. The first is about Forgotten New York, the city where my Mom and Dad were born and raised, and the second is all about exploring decrepit places and taking gorgeous photos of what remains of what used to be. Ghosts seem to wander through these images. I imagine these places with people and laughter (or tears) and sunshine (or thunder) and scents and plans and dreams (or nightmares), creating a virtual reality that is perhaps close to the way they might once have been in fact. The artifacts left behind afford a glimpse into yesterday's realities and are made curious and beautiful and melancholy in their ruin.
(Plus, they're GREAT time-wasters.)