Friday, January 27, 2006

Friday news headlines

Judge to Rule on Merit of Christ Case

The judge in this case must proceed with caution. He makes the wrong decision on this one and millions of Southern Baptists might spontaneously combust. Disaster warning in place for the Carolinas, Georgia, and Alabama.

Poll: Public Worried About Federal Deficit

THIS is news? Of COURSE we're worried! What I think might be news is if someone actualy came up with a way to ADDRESS the issue! Next!

Bush Has Hits, Misses in Annual Speech

But did he sink the Battleship?

Federer to Play Baghdatis in Aussie Final

My question is - how many years did it take him to LEARN the Baghdatis?

Sex calms nerves before public speaking - study

Again, please tell us something we dont' already KNOW. Sheesh! It's the nerves before the SEX that are killer!

Scorpion Lives for 15 Mo. Inside Fossil

It was all over once Granny Teeter noticed a slight itching at the base of her neck and scratched open the cyst that had slowly been growing over the last year or so. Imagine her surprise when that scorpion popped out! She was the hit of the bingo parlor THAT night, let me tell you.

Alaska Revives Aerial Wolf Control Program

Now HERE'S the kind of news I'm TALKING about - I didn't know there were such things AS aerial wolves to start with. Arboreal, maybe, but AERIAL? Learn something new every day, that's my motto. Imagine that, aerial wolves.


This concludes the broadcast of TIFF TV for Friday, January 27th. Good day.


Anonymous said...

...flying wolves and barking monkeys...what's not to love?

tiff said...

It's the stuff of nightmares, really. :>

Erica said...

DYING over the fossil! Thanks for that laugh... which is still ongoing... :-)

tiff said...

You're welcome!

rennratt said...

My favorite headline ever is still "Five pound hairball removed from womans stomach".

Granted, it was on the cover of the National Enquirer about ten years ago. It is still my favorite.

tiff said...

A 5-pound hairball? That's gross! And fascinating at the same time. :>